A Banana, Shrined Chinese Identity.
Born in Flushing, New York, with parents from Shanghai, China, Noreen Lee grew up as many first-generation American-born Chinese struggled with her identity. Her parents spoke Mandarin to one another, but they spoke English to Noreen and her two younger sisters because they wanted the children to assimilate quickly. She grew up with a strong Chinese culture, celebrating Chinese New Year and the Moon Festival while being an American, going to school speaking English and dealing with predominantly white culture.
Like many Chinese immigrant families, Noreen’s family moved a few times to different neighborhoods on Long Island, seeking better education for their children. In high school, Noreen was 1 of the 3 Chinese students out of 150. She remembered being made fun of for looking different from the shape of her eye. “When kids questioned why I looked different? I would say — Well, I am who I am.” Noreen was feisty even at an early age. Not just being made fun of but bullied, Noreen had to learn to fight back and defend herself.
Photo: Noreen graduating High School
Because of the experience of being ridiculed for looking differently and not entirely accepted, Noreen shirked her Chinese identity in her adolescent years. She wanted to fit in so badly in those crucial years as a youth that it was more important than anything to be accepted and to feel that she belonged. She chose not to identify as Chinese, going against her mother’s will and getting tanned and dyed her hair. However, she was still being called a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside.
It was not until after graduation and being in the workforce that Noreen embraced her Chinese identity. Her love for reading led her to a well-known book called THE JOY LUCK CLUB , which resonated with her soul. The book opened her eyes and made her realize she was not alone. She remembered seeing the movie with her mother; she couldn’t stop sobbing because the movie described how first-generation American-born Chinese feel about their identity struggle. That was a pivotal point in her life.
You Can Start Your Dream at Any Age.
Noreen’s mother had a significant influence on her life. She modeled to her daughters that one can pursue one’s dream at any age and that anything is possible when one takes action with courage.
At age 40, Noreen’s mother became Meilian Fang, China’s most famous Peking Opera Artist’s student. Meilian Fang had already retired in Flushing, New York; Noreen’s mother approached him and auditioned for him. Meilian Fang saw something in her and decided to come out of retirement to teach her. With Meilian Fang’s help, Noreen’s mother grew in her skills and later became the lead in one of the more popular Chinese opera stories, Hong Yang (Red Chamber). Noreen wanted to act and write at an early age, and watching her mother learn and perform encouraged her.
Photo: Left, Noreen performing Chinese Opera; Right, Noreen’s mom Marry Lee performing
When Pursuing Passion, You Won’t See the Difficulties.
Noreen’s debut movie, SOPHIE IN HOLLYWOOD is about listening to one’s heart. “We are all influenced by the voices around us; it takes time to decipher through the voices to understand what we want. What’s important to us? What makes us happy? ” Noreen asked herself those questions; she asked herself what she could give back that would be valuable to the world. She realized she wanted to show what she had struggled with regarding her identity and inspire others to become their best version. She knew the most potent medium would be film.
Noticing there needed to be more stories about women aged 40 plus, especially with American-born Chinese, Noreen teamed up with her stand-up comedian friend and completed the screenplay in 8 months. Because it was a $20,000 low-budget project, she had to have all eight episodes shot in 5 days. Filmmakers said it couldn’t be done, but her team did it. The production team worked like a machine, and the actors came ready. “It makes a difference when you work with smart, talented, passionate people who share your vision.” She called them her Dream Team.
Photo: Noreen on set for Sophie in Hollywood
With a strong passion for film, Noreen didn’t see the challenges as that difficult. She knew why it was so important to her and why she valued it so much. The passion, desire, and determination gave her strength and helped her overcome whatever she faced. Her husband had been an excellent supporter, making that dream come true. “Even if you just had one person by your side, that goes a long way. Especially when there are times when you’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, what did I get myself into?’ But you push through it. And once you get through the other side, it’s so worth it.”
160K Viewers Celebrating Freedom
The weekend of July 4th, SOPHIE IN HOLLYWOOD debuted on the Asian American Movie Channel. It was a coincidence but very apropos to be streamed during a significant American holiday to celebrate freedom — being free as a woman, a man, or a teenager. It had over 160,000 views. Men and adolescents also expressed thanks for this film because it resonated with them. Everyone must be free to make choices and be who they are.
Noreen likes to choose roles that portray Chinese women as strong, brave, and wise. She likes complex roles with layers of emotions, thoughts, and internal struggles that ultimately refine the role into a powerful, confident, and beautiful woman. In one of her recent films, CELYNA, she played a grandmother who encouraged her 15-year-old granddaughter to listen to her heart and pursue her dreams. In her other role in the feature film SHELTER ME, she also plays a strong woman who keeps the family together during a challenging time during the pandemic. CELYNA is now going through the film festival circuit and has received many positive reviews.
Currently, Noreen is writing a comedy-drama called THE GENE POOL. It’s a story about scientists working in genetics, and it’s filled with quirky characters, action, and drama. It’s going to be even better than SOPHIE IN HOLLYWOOD.
When asked about what it is like being an Asian American writer, producer, and actress in Hollywood nowadays, Noreen wishes to see stories that don’t feed the Asian stereotypes. “I like procedural shows, and there need to be more roles for AAPI(Asian American Pacific Islander)women lawyers, agents, investigators, and judges. Though I do have a soft spot for playing a crime boss.” Noreen said with a smile. The Netflix TV series BEEF, with actress Ali Wong and actor Steven Yuen, has tremendously progressed and won several awards, including Emmy and Golden Globes. However, we still have a long way to go for AAPI representation.
You May: The dialogues in SOPHIE IN HOLLYWOOD were well written between a traditional Chinese mom and an American-born daughter. We can see the mother always wanting Sophie to return to accounting as her career, get back to her ex-husband, and stop purchasing her Hollywood dream. The life scenes are illustrated in accurate detail, such as Sophie placing chopsticks, knives, and forks on the plates while having dinner with her mom. What are some differences between a traditional Chinese mom and an American mom? What do you value from the conventional Chinese teaching?
Noreen: I grew up with what we know as the “tiger mom,” with her high expectations and reminders of her many sacrifices to raise her daughters. The Chinese mother sees her children, particularly her daughters, as an extension of herself. So how they become reflects how she is. She expects respect from her children and doesn’t see them as peers. On the other hand, the American mom values individuality and relates to her children as peers when they grow older. I value the respect and honor given to one’s elders from the traditional Chinese teaching—the value placed on family unity and the responsibilities for one another.
My mom was an accountant who put herself through school and did some engineering. Even though she encouraged her daughters in music and the arts, neither of my parents encouraged me to pursue art as a career. That’s why I produced Sophie and wrote it later in my life—because I still have the passion. Ironically, my mother also did it(Peking Opera) later in life.
My mother expressed a lot of her desires through us. So, she wanted us to succeed, and it was based on her definition. Growing up in a Chinese family, we also learned the importance of honoring the family because you’re representing the family. You don’t want to make your mom lose her face. So it was hard, and that’s where that struggle came in of identity: Who am I?
Compared with the American mom, being one myself growing up in the US, I was very much in tune with releasing the expectations of what I want for my children. Of course, I want them to do well in school. I learned to encourage them and support them. I also wanted to ensure they did what they wanted. I wanted them to grow up strong and know their individuality and who they are as people—and I made sure that I didn’t envelop them with my desires. As parents, we have to learn to let go continually. I think that is more of the American way of thinking. I allowed children to develop their wings to be strong enough to fly independently.
YouMay: Our children are all educated in the U.S. How can we, as parents, better understand and support our American-born or American-raised children?
Noreen: It’s essential to show them you want to understand and are there for them. And communication is the key, especially between a parent and child. Given the language barriers or slang terminologies, it is challenging.
As a parent, you start with understanding their likes and dislikes and what they are going through in school. School is a big deal for them, especially teenagers; it’s their life, where their friends are. I am always encouraged to have friends over for a meal and have them have conversations around the table, which is so important. Because of what food and all that brings out, especially when they love to eat, have a conversation with them and listen to each other. That’s also a great time to get to know your friends.
You May: Can you give some advice to Chinese Women living in the US?
Noreen: Be honest and strong in your roots; Ensure your roots grow deep and water those roots. Take care of them. Take care of who you are because you’re a beautiful tree; see yourself as a tree. And there’s only one of you. And when you become strong, like a tree, you can offer shade to others, right? The priority is knowing who you are and your place, wherever you are.
Be the best that you can be and continue to learn. To have that learning mindset, that growth mindset is critical. As a Chinese woman living in this country, I encourage her to learn English. Whether it be watching shows on TV, taking an online class, or reading, learn the language because when you know the language, that’s empowering because you can communicate. Communication is the key. So you can communicate what you want and expect, as well as communicate with others. If you have children, that’s your incentive to communicate with them because language is the building block, which is critical to knowing your children to show them that you want to understand and communicate.
Just be the best version of yourself, knowing and loving yourself first, and then you can give that shade to others.
Photo: Noreen filming Sophie in Hollywood